Supposed to meet Eddy at Tampines interchange at 6.10, but I got restless while waiting for him and tried to call him up. The reception was so damn poor as there was no tone nor anything when calling him, so I guessed he was in the library. Made my way there to look for him, but the moment I reached the 2nd storey of the damn library, he sent me an SMS, saying he's at the interchange. Kns.. I hurried back as quickly as I could, cuz I didn't want him to wait for too long.

When I reached the place where I was supposed to meet him at, I noticed he wasn't looking, so I decided to sneak up to him and poke him just below the ribs. But in case he decided not to be in a good mood that day, I did a soft one, just enough to make him turn around. Heng he didn't get angry =P

We took bus 67 to Eddy's house, and Wengyew boarded the bus halfway. Dunno if he was too engrossed in looking for a seat, or if he purposely pretended not to see us, until I decided to shout at him after Eddy's desperate attempts to call out to him. He was like "Oh.. Hi.." and seated some seats in front of us. Talked a little along the way and after he got down the bus, until we went past his house. Wengyew went home and it was time for me to train my pull-ups. However, I still don't seem very successful at even managing to pull myself up a little. Eddy helped me by pushing me up, but that was the ONLY time which I could go up. Couldn't even hang there for more than 15 seconds. I felt like a total loser xia..

After the training session at around 8.30, I went up to Eddy's house to help him retrieve his Oracle username and password. Helped him install Tomcat too, but didn't configure it cuz he said he wouldn't need it yet. My diet was ruined when he brought in a bottle of new year snack and tempted me with it. Plus, he treated me to carrot cake at He Ji Pao.. Anyway, left at around 9.45. Damn tired when I reached home, once again. Hiong week, huh?

From today onwards, I've decided not to mention my work in my blog, as it's not part of my life; it seems like I'm finally able to zombify myself towards work. =)

So basically what I did for today was meet Shaoqi at 7.30 at Tampines MRT station, and went for the movie 'Lucky Star' at Tampines Mall. Quite a nice show, with a humor just next to 'The Guru'. The cinema was freezing like hell, and I had became quite restless a number of times throughout the show. But still, it's a slightly better show than Shanghai Knights which i watched yesterday.

After the show, Shaoqi decided to bring me to the kopitiam near the library for dinner, but seems like most stalls were closed cuz it was already 9.30. Macdonald's was his second choice, but I suggested BK instead as I'm a die-hard BK fan, and I was in possession of BK vouchers then. Shaoqi treated me to a Chicken Sandwich value meal, and that a weird BK Bague value meal. That was 50 cents more than the movie tickets which I had treated him to, but oh well.. it's just 50 cents.. Boonhou came down to meet up with Shaoqi in BK after just finished doing his project in school. We went home after that. I'm so beaten again today that I decided not to do the poster for the Open House.

Didn't update my blog yesterday cuz I was so damn shagged after walking from City Hall to Raffles Place, then back to City Hall, and to Bugis, with Laibao. In fact I'm equally shagged today after watching ShangHai Knights till 11 and making my way home, but guess I'll take some time to write some shit here. Think I've further refined my twisted mindset recently, due to feedback from all my friends. Jan 2003 had been a very hellish month for me, due to bombards from friendship problems, family problems, my uncertainty in the future, fear of NS, etc. However, I've only begun to realize that most of my friends had been with me all along, trying to get a simple message across - Be Positive. Here are words from different people, but they mean the same thing:

Jeremy: "always look on the bright side of life, rem??"

Raymond: "Don't worry about it lah.."

Yiliang: "I'll cut the story short and tell you peeps how I live my life. I focus on the positive things in my life, even if I've had a fucked up day I come home and tell myself 'alright cool my WWE show is on tonight.' Or I'll just grab a drink, magazine and just chill out. And to keep my mind away from whatever problems I have, I'll just don't think about it and keep myself busy with stuffs." - Copied and pasted from his blog

Eddy: "kNs la be more optimistic and u'll be finee"

And lots more... So you see.. This is what everyone is trying to tell me, although they put it in different ways. Only since a few days ago, my mind has calmed due to the fear that if I continued raging on, Eddy would be through with me. Finally, with a calm mind, I could understand what everyone is trying to say and embrace that. And best of all, Yiliang had actually provided the steps to doing that, which made things really easier. I too, had also noticed recently that by being more positive, things would turn out better. Weird huh?..

Oh yeah, another thing which helped me alot in going through the recent trials is the song.. 'Tomorrow Never Knows' by Mr Children... Yes, it's the song which has inspired my new nick and everything. Maybe some of you who have heard it before (through me sending it to you) might think that it sucks, but take a look at the lyrics or it's translation and you'll understand. I'll explain what it means roughly:

"The song basically describes the feelings of a guy who has got a painful and regretful past whereby he does everything to get what he wants, ending up betraying his close friend for a woman. He lives his life with regrets, but could not make up for the things he had done in the past. Instead, all he could and should do is face the future with hope and confidence."

There were lots of times when I'm really vexed to the point of breakdown, but am just unable to cry out. However, crying out doesn't seem to be a problem when I'm looking at the lyrics and listening to the song at the same time. Tears would flow down from my eyes, but it often feels better after that. Merely listening to the song doesn't seem to have the same effect though.. =)

This blog entry is basically describing how I feel recently, rather that what I do. Though I do feel much better yesterday and today, there's still alot for me to do in order to feel happier and more contented in my everyday life. I'll try harder to change, and hope for a better tomorrow. Wish me luck =)..

Just came back from dinner at WTC. Chinese restaurant again. The dishes there seemed better than those I'd had during lunch, except for a dish which resembled decomposing meat after being mercilessly forked about by us. Yunjie sat beside me for dinner and as usual, we talk, talk and talked non-stop. Think our table was the messiest in the restaurant when we left, as one of my dad's friend was clumsy or drunk enough to spill a glass of beer over himself. Like as if that wasn't enough, another one almost knocked the saucer of chilli sauce over. I've had too much water and the price to pay was that I had to keep visiting the bathroom. I found out later that the bill was over $500, but it wasn't in my place to complain anyway. Anyway, it's still early now. Think I'll do something productive to waste my time away until 3am.

Just reached home, getting ready to go for dinner at WTC with my dad's fren's family again. Wanted to call Eddy to ask him if I could go his house tomorrow to pass him the CD but he didn't answer his handphone. Called his house phone and he's not in; his dad picked up the phone instead.. Wonder where he went, as I thought he told me he'd be going out with his parents for the whole of the 1st - 3rd day of New Year.

I was having some kind of weird dream about cars and stuff, when I got rudely awakened by my dad. Was so sleepy can't barely make out what he said. All I can remember was he saying something about '40', or 'quick', or 'late'. I groaned and got out of bed. Casually picked a black set of clothing from my wardrobe and went to shit and bathe. I came out from the bathroom just in time to see my dad hurrying my mum and brother. My mum commented on my hawaiian bermudas, saying stuff like it being too sloppy and shit. Went to the balcony, took a pair of white bermudas from the line and changed into it. Went into my room and booted my comp. My sis and bro came in for some unknown reason, and I noticed both of them are wearing black. Damn.. How could they leave me out. Once again, I went to the wardrobe and picked a black pair of sport shorts. Looks perfect. And it looks like my dad is losing his patience. Gotta go for lunch with my relatives now.