Hopeless....

woke up, uploaded some pics n den went to meet Raymond at bedok mrt station.. walked ard popular n the hp shops for a bit, den proceeded on to my house cuz he wanted to print some stuff n burn cds.. after doing his stuff, he helped mi train my standing broad jump. still no improvement.. i really tink i wanna gif up liao.. dun wanna go retest.. cuz no matter how hard i train still no improvement.. i've been training for like the whole week liao loh.. aniwae at nite we went to tampines to eat bk (the lamb burger), go get some zip disk, n den met Gabriel n Samuel.. watched them eat their dinner den not long after dat at ard 10 we left.. went to Eddy's hse to get someting, den went home.

i feel totally sucky..i still really wanna gif up hope on my napfa.. i mean.. wad's the point for retaking when i know in advance dat i'll fail.. passing is juz a farfetched idea.. almost all my hopes are gone liao.. aniwae, my life is so messed up currently.. too messed up wif many stuff.. at the end of the day, i'll probably not get wad i hope for.. the problems will never go.. i shd stop deluding myself wif the excuse dat 'everything's possible'.. these few weeks i find dat i've juz lost my will to live on liao.. everyday i juz live in hope of some fatal accident happening to me.. i may show a happy face, but when i reach home at the end of the day i juz sit there n tink.. y am i in dis state?? is there no one out there who can help mi?? i've tried to salvage the situation, but no use.. feel so hopeless..

Up to ITAS Rooftop

juz a normal day at sku.. except dat we visited the ITAS rooftop again today (visited it once yest), twice somemore.. dis time wif [Mi, Valen, Laibao, Aaron] and [Mi, Laibao, Joe, Wendy, Widhong, Yongjian].. haha.. looks like my fear of heights is slowly decreasing.. too used to climbing the ladder liao.. n somemore when u're up above there's an even higher ladder u haf to climb (to an even higher rooftop).. when i tried to climb it yest my legs were wobbling like jelly.. today not so worse, even when i tried the higher one.. up there, my camera suddenly ran out of battery, so after we went back to the lower rooftop, n into the door of the water tanks, i borrowed Valen's fone to take video along the way.. trying to simulate the ghost show effect.. after we ended up in the IISO labs dat side, we went back to lab n the 2nd batch wanted to go up, so mi n Laibao went wif them while Valen stayed behind to do project.. since 2nd grp got more ppl, it was much more fun.. Wendy was climbing up n down the ladder wif her high heel shoes.. haha.. aniwae, we somehow passed thru a metal staircase along the way n we all went 'sshhhhh...' cuz her high heel shoes were too noisy.. wahaha...when we reached IISO labs dat side n went down the stairs from level 8 to 5 to go back into the building, Joe commented 'can u dun be so noisy anot??' (referring to Wendy's shoes).. lolx..

Nothing much.. juz woke up n went to sku today.. once again, juz stayed in Laibao's lab n tried to help him.. was getting REALLY hungry at ard 4.30 cuz i've not eaten yet, so got Valen to buy a pao for mi.. juz when she came back at 5, Eddy came over n asked mi to go for lunch.. went sku of business to eat today.. i ate vegetarian food.. haha.. cuz nothing better to eat.. eat western eat till sian liao.. after finishing our food we hanged ard to chat n slack, n went back at ard 6..

yesterday, Laibao's supervisor wanted him to change the whole database structure, which meant dat the code had to be changed heavily as well.. in the end, both of us were getting frustrated n restless.. n tired out.. Laibao n his grp members finally decided to call it a day n go for dinner.. i was supposed to join them initially, but i went Eddy's lab saw dat he was alone in the lab (except for 2 gals who he don't noe), so i felt dat i had to stay wif Eddy instead.. Laibao went off n i stayed n helped Eddy pack his stuff.. some disaster happened to his files n he was desperately trying to recover his files... finally the lab technician came to chase us away, so we had to go..

i sent Eddy to his void deck, den went home.. was totally shagged out at looking at Laibao's code.. wahahha.. hate it when supervisors love to make last min changes..

i juz downloaded gunbound n started playing it.. damn addictive.. guess i haf to remove it from my system liao.. i dun wanna let history repeat itself... dun wanna get hooked on another game.. dat's y i seldom play popular games nowadays

woke up, uploaded some pics, n went to sku at ard 3.. the sky was overcast when i left my home but luckily it didn't rain until i got down the bus at tp n reached IT sku..

didn't manage to find Laibao in his lab, so i called him. he was having lunch in mensa along wif Yongjian n dat indonesian guy (uh-oh.. i 4got his name). had a californian roll but still felt hungry after dat, so i went for a chicken salad.. nice, but i wished they had used breast meat instead of thigh meat.. after a really long lunch, we went back to lab.

though we were quite restless today, Laibao managed to get some parts done, onli to introduce even more serious bugs (like memory leak) into the program.. Eddy came quite late today, n he left for next door soon after.. at ard 6, i got abit restless n hungry n decided to go scavage for food.. we walked all the way to engine, to find nothing much left, n den went to design.. quite abit of nice stuff left in the drink stall.. got those kind of fried flour whereby got a prawn on top, some ok pocky, n also a bunch of fishballs for Eddy. along the way back to IT we walked ard the sports complex n the open auditorium at the fountains.. got a chance to test my standing broad jump at the sports complex.. i finished the prawn ting n the ok pocky, so decided to drop by business sku (since it was nearby) to get more ok pocky for my labmates.. back at IT, we happen to spot some gals doing some sort of strange dance in wad used to be the IT canteen.. when we finally reached the lab, i passed the fishballs to Eddy n continued to watch Laibao..

the prawn ting i've eaten earlier had caused a piece of prawn shell to be stuck in between 2 of my canine teeth, so i was having trouble getting it out.. i've tried using everyting - from my own fingernails to Eddy's fishball's satay stick to Laibao's old farecard - to get the damn ting out, but to no avail.. locked myself in the toilet for quite some time to get the ting out, but it juz refused to come out.. in the end, i decided to gif up, after my gums started bleeding.. miraculously the ting came out by itself after i stopped fiddling wif it for 15 mins..

Laibao's project supervisor came in to discuss sth wif them, so i was juz hanging ard, disturbing Yongjian n looking thru Laibao's code.. aniwae Laibao was standing near a computer which was working halfway on a report, n he leaned against it unconciously.. when he got up he suddenly exclaimed dat his report had grew to 51 pages long mysteriously.. i took a look - n it has happened dat he was sitting on the 'x' key, n he sat long enuf for the report to grew to dat length.. lolx..

we left the lab quite late today - ard 9.15.. we took 69 to bedok, den i walked home from there.. reached home, ate, bathed n had some rest.. somehow i'm feeling quite moody today.. sucky... maybe it's cuz i'm scared of my napfa retest, but i tink it's more than dat.. too many tings going on in my mind.. i dunno wad i myself tink.. always tell ppl not to worry, yet i worry too much myself.. haha

A REALLY Long Day

Woke up quite late again, to upload pics onto my new online album (will put up the links once I've got everything ready). Uploading wif my dialup connection was damn slow, along wif the fact dat my modem keeps disconnecting abt every 15 mins.. Gd ting the uploading can resume..

aniwae, along the way to the dining room to haf my lunch, i almost slipped on someting wet n slimy on the floor.. i looked down n saw dat it was BLOOD!! oh gosh.. so i asked my mum y there was so much blood on the floor.. she looked very paiseh n told mi the reason.. she accidentally dirtied the floor wif her blood n forgot to clean it up.. for those who still dun get it, i shalln't elaborate.. i almost died when i heard wad she said!! oh no.. i can't buy 4d for a year now..

I was fickled abt whether i shd go tp.. cuz i didn't noe if i was needed.. but after Laibao said 'one more brain tink oso better', i felt so enthu to go back.. wahahha..

the weather was COMPLETELY fine when I left my hse, n juz when i walked to the point whereby there was no shelter animore, it suddenly started to rain.. n heavily!! at the traffic light, i moved backward a little to make way for an auntie on my left, n *PIAK*! i landed my sandals on a huge awful puddle of muddy water.. being wet wasn't a problem, but i was more worried abt whether it would stink n knock everyone out in the lab later on.. i was totally drenched by the time i reached the bus stop.. n guess wad.. the rain stopped once i boarded the bus!!! toking abt an unlucky day!!

i was still wet when i reached sku at 5.30, n the first ting Izzak n Laibao asked mi was 'eh.. y u so wet?'.. n Leonard asked 'u went swimming izzit?'.. when i tried to explain how I was caught in the rain, guess wad they replied.. 'got rain meh?? but the weather so sunny today!'.. grrr.. i wanted to slap myself in the head.. i quickly removed my sandals n walked around barefooted to prevent my sandals from stinking up.

before i settled down to watch Laibao do his prj, i caught Eddy sleeping in the back row at Rama's place.. i went up to him, tried to wake him up, shook him, even confiscated his glasses, but he still refused to wake up.. trying to play afool, eh? so i took his glasses far far away n he was like 'eh??? where u taking my glasses to?'.. wahahha.. he left the lab soon after dat, n i was being lame n tried to capture Yongjian on my cam n trying to put his face as wallpaper.. wahah.. Finally i managed to settle down.. In the end it was discovered dat Laibao's program wasn't running correctly cuz of some spelling errors, about 'received' being spelled as 'recieve'.. we changed here changed there oso couldn't work.. den when we changed back to the original code, it miraculously worked.. wahahah..

my mouth was getting itchy by around 6.30, so we decided to visit the pau stall downstairs to c if we could get aniting before it closes.. there was nothing left, besides some gnoh hiam, so we left for the business canteen instead.. along the way, we were toking abt telling the auntie 'nao hia' instead of 'gnoh hiam' n somehow managed to link to the story in our sec sku chinese textbook abt the sausages growing below the nose after a couple made the wrong wish.. crap.. haha.. our appetites haf gone away by the time we reached business sku, so we got some light stuff instead - iced mocha, bombay toast, a packet of panda biscuit n some okpocky.. since we were in sku of business, i decided to go look for Jackson in his lab.. in sku of business, i had trouble getting past the 3rd floor.. the staircase was kind of hidden.. had to search high n low before i could locate it.. n the corridors beyond the 3rd floor was very unfamiliar too.. first time i visited business lab.. quite small in terms of space, but the computers are sooo damn advanced compared to dat of IT sku.. all LCD monitors.. wah liew... but the lab looked more stressful than the labs in IT, maybe cuz it looks more confined cuz of its size..

along the way back to Laibao's lab, we passed by the sandwich machine, n i decided to gif it a try.. let's c.. it saes 'Fast, Delicious, Nutritious'.. so i put my note there, to be rudely snatched away by the machine.. n i had to stand there like a fool n wait for 2 mins for the damn machine to make the sandwich.. dat defeats 'Fast'.. after an eternal wait the sandwich was tossed out into the collection slot, n i cautiously lifted it up.. it was so damn hot to hold... but for its price, it was way too small.. $2.50.. when i tore open the packaging n took my 1st bite, i decided dat the 'delicious' factor was defeated too.. wasn't dat nice after all.. the bread was abit chao da.. so 'nutritious' was definitely out also.. n does the machine have to be so stingy on the mushrooms?!?

back in the lab, Laibao started on the more non-technical stuff.. journals n storyboards.. he really did look more interested in those.. haha... was joking all the way thru.. aniwae, i received an sms from Eddy asking mi to go tm wif him to buy clothes.. so we were supposed to meet at the ATM in tp at 8.35.. juz at around dat time, we suddenly caught Valen digging thru the rubbish bin.. den we found out dat she had actually lost her ring, n she was frantically looking for it.. soon, Laibao n mi were frantically digging thru the bin as well.. looking for needle in a sack of hay.. haha.. in the end we managed to find nothing n as we were washing our hands in the toilet (i was still barefooted den.. lolx), i discovered dat it was already 8.45, n i was supposed to meet Eddy! i literally RAN to the ATM...

after i told Eddy abt the ring incident, he exclaimed dat Juncheng found a ring earlier on in the mobile lab, n after some questioning, it was confirmed dat the ring belonged to Valen.. but the ting was.. Juncheng had threw the ring somewhere after playing wif it.. i called Laibao to tell him abt it, so they went back to the mobile lab to look for the ring, but didn't find it in the end.. the lab technician was closing the lab, so they didn't manage to get to dig the rubbish bin there... let's hope we'll find it tmr..

when we reached tampines central, Eddy decided to go G2000 to get some formal clothing for his presentation.. he tried piece by piece, size by size, n i was outside his cubical to help him c if he looked nice anot.. but the shop assistant lady was very polite n patient.. even after the shop was closing.. haha.. Eddy was shocked when he came out of his changing room to see the doors of the shop already partially closed.. it was 9.30 then.. after dat, we went to long john for a quick meal, before we went home.. one of the rare occasions where i didn't send Eddy home..

have had a REALLY long day, but it was an interesting n fulfiling day wif a fair share of fun.. exploring sku of biz, walking ard the labs n 8th-floor corridors n toilet barefooted, searching thru the rubbish bin.. yawnz... it's 4.20 in the morning now.. time to slp..

slept my morning away again.. haha.. Eddy was featured in my dream dis morning but i forgot abt wad.. aniwae, woke up quite late, n my body was still aching n bruised from the napfa test on fri.. tink i ate sth wrong yest.. cuz i on my computer suddenly needed to rush to the toilet liao..

basically spent my afternoon helping Jackson abit wif his prj n doing some research for Eddy.. halfway thru, i needed to rush to the toilet again.. initially planned to go out for dinner wif my parents for dinner but at the last min Eddy called so i decided to go dinner wif him instead.

i was supposed to meet Eddy at cash converter, but when i reached there was no signs of him.. called him, sms him n he nv replied.. tot sth happened to him, until he called n said he was at the toilet at mph cuz of stomachache.. haha.. so coincidential.. stomachache oso.. aniwae mine hasn't fully recovered but it was ok enuf for mi to bear wif.. we went to pizza hut for dinner.. ordered the seafood setmeal.. the $24.90 one.. the pizza tasted abit weird, maybe cuz of the tuna inside.. but the tasty part lies in the cheese n crispy crust.. haha..

after dinner Eddy subconciously walked to Giant, n i followed him blindly. it was after we reached there den Eddy asked 'eh?? wad am i here for??'.. so we climbed down the flights of escalator down to the basement while Eddy go look for his stuff n i went to the toilet.. we went to play pool after dat.. after winning mi 2 games in a row, Eddy got complacent n started to plan on how he was going to trash mi thruout... grrr... but he got his just dessert when i beat him in the last game.. wahahha

sent Eddy home after the game, den took a bus back.. watching waterboys now.. wahhaha