Hopeless....

woke up, uploaded some pics n den went to meet Raymond at bedok mrt station.. walked ard popular n the hp shops for a bit, den proceeded on to my house cuz he wanted to print some stuff n burn cds.. after doing his stuff, he helped mi train my standing broad jump. still no improvement.. i really tink i wanna gif up liao.. dun wanna go retest.. cuz no matter how hard i train still no improvement.. i've been training for like the whole week liao loh.. aniwae at nite we went to tampines to eat bk (the lamb burger), go get some zip disk, n den met Gabriel n Samuel.. watched them eat their dinner den not long after dat at ard 10 we left.. went to Eddy's hse to get someting, den went home.

i feel totally sucky..i still really wanna gif up hope on my napfa.. i mean.. wad's the point for retaking when i know in advance dat i'll fail.. passing is juz a farfetched idea.. almost all my hopes are gone liao.. aniwae, my life is so messed up currently.. too messed up wif many stuff.. at the end of the day, i'll probably not get wad i hope for.. the problems will never go.. i shd stop deluding myself wif the excuse dat 'everything's possible'.. these few weeks i find dat i've juz lost my will to live on liao.. everyday i juz live in hope of some fatal accident happening to me.. i may show a happy face, but when i reach home at the end of the day i juz sit there n tink.. y am i in dis state?? is there no one out there who can help mi?? i've tried to salvage the situation, but no use.. feel so hopeless..