Went west coast park in the day to rackie around, n took lots of pics n a video clip. will upload them when I feel like it. had a damn lousy nite.. i'm really so damn shagged today, i wish i could rest, but eddy's self-centered attitude has caused me to have to run all the way to his hse at ard 11, collect someting, n rush home again.. no mood to type the whole incident here.. n when i told him off for it, he actually scolded mi back on SMS.. in caps somemore.. i was so damn pissed, sad n disappointed wif him, i couldn't stop hurling vulgarities at him. i pointed him to read the 16th feb blog entry, i told him i wouldn't bother with him animore, i told him given up hope on him, n i told him i hate him.. i dunno if i said all dat cuz of anger, or whether dat's wad i really mean. but right now, all i can feel is i'm probably not going to be so nice to him animore.. i dun wan dis kind of selfish ppl as my fren.. n he's probably not going to feel even a pinch..

deep down inside i still feel the hurt.. cuz dis frenship is going dwn the drain now. finally, after such a long struggle.. lots of unfulfiled promises too.. he's no longer the caring n trustworthy fren i used to know.. the old Eddy is dead.. n i've lost my best fren.. i've always thought "ok, i can try to change him", but now i've got no more energy to go on.. i give up.. i juz wish i'm dead.. cuz the day i fear most is here..

probably going to ponder n cry myself to sleep tonite..