The Harsh Reality of Growing Up

When I was still in my early teenage, I was eager to 'grow up', so I could own my own credit card, haf total freedom, gain more respect frm ppl, go to age-restricted areas like pubs or casinos, etc. I didn't really understand what people meant when they told me "Hey, you're lucky that you're still young". There were many plans, for the future, probably too many and too unrealistic.

As I progressed through my teenage, however, things started to change. Sure, it may mean more freedom, but along with dat freedom comes the harsh realities of life - responsibilities, conflicts, complexity. I realized that most of the plans for the future were just too impractical (for example, I've always thought that I wanted to be a scientist, until I found out that science isn't all about magnets or electric circuits). Slowly, each of my dreams were being ruled out one by one, until I've got no dream left. No hope, no plan, no insight of my future. Responsibilities, too, were setting in. I would be given a fixed sum of money daily and I had to plan carefully on how to go about utilizing it for my transports, bills, food, etc. There would be worries about overspending, or juz the sucky feeling about not having enough money to buy that cool-looking slingbag at Isetan. Above dat, we simply juz do not haf as much time to enjoy ourselves as well wif our frens, due to individual committments.

As part of growing up and moving into the social world, our materialistic desires became stronger too. The severity varies between different people, but the problem is still generally there. When you were still a kid, have you ever wanted a 'Timberland' brand on all your single pair of shoes or 'Billabong' on your schoolbag? Maybe yes, but the desire is not as strong rite? And juz we might be ambitious about toys in those days, the desire has shifted onto handphones now. In the midst of this, lust may set in as well, which could cause problems at times.

One of the worst problems of growing up is the growing pride in oneself, which leads to what was juz mentioned, as well as the following: pretendence, lies, backstabbing. Some people have to pretend and lie to cover up their weaknesses, cuz they are afraid of 'losing face'. Some even go to the extent of backstabbing their frens to gain things, often reputation or romance. Others simply lose their true selves in order to be socially accepted. The innocence and simplicity of the earlier days are no longer there.

Given the choice, I would rather live the simple, carefree, non-committed life, and stop there. But den again, it's not like I have a choice...